I have just recently listened to the ABC Life Matters program (The Final Send Off) and heard you speak of your term "liferal".
I work in palliative care as the manager of the volunteer support service. I am privileged to meet many people from all walks of life who are facing death and dealing with it in their own unique way.
As a team of professionals in this field (registered nurses, social workers, medical specialists, volunteers) we recognise the struggle society overall has with facing death and talking about dying. We (society) avoid it at all manner of costs if we can and so after listening to the program I looked up your website and from there found the link to John Slaytor (Funeral Book Designer).
A great part of the work we do with people with a life limiting illness focuses on leaving a legacy, grief and bereavement and how people can achieve this. I found both your website and John's link to Ismeme's 80th Birthday inspiring and very interesting. I plan to discuss and promote your website and 'liferal' terminology during our volunteer orientation in coming weeks and I will be sure to raise it with my collegues in journal club.
On a personal note Paul, my mother turned 90 in May and we hosted a birthday gathering for her with friends and family she has known during her life. We sent with the invitation a 'remember' note and asked people to write a special memory of our Mum and bring along on the day. It very much fits with the 'liferal' theme and it once again confirmed for me seeing your website and John's work how important it is to take the time now rather than leave it to tell someone how much they mean to you.
In support and friendship
Leanne
Hi Paul
I have specialised in funeral photography in the Sydney region for the past three years. I don't fully comprehend why funeral photography is sometimes regarded with incredulity. Part of me thinks it is because our society does everything we can to avoid dealing with death and the last thing our society wants is permanent evidence that it is a part of life; paradoxically our society is perfectly happy to witness other societies' deaths (usually in the form of natural disasters and civil war).
Last month I photographed beyond the grave - the 80th birthday party of a family matriarch who had had a health scare months earlier. Her extended family decided to pull out all the stops for Ismeme's 80th birthday party by making it a retrospective of her life. Below is a link to the book I designed of Ismene's birthday.
http://www.johnslaytor.com.au/pages/80th-birthday-party/liferal-80th-birthday-party.html
Ismeme was far from embarrassed at friends flying in from interstate, her grandchildren playing musical instruments, and being able to declare to her family just how important each and every one of them was to her so it is surprising 'liferals' don't happen more often.
I think your term brilliantly encapsulates an important ceremony that will deservedly take off soon.
Kind Regards
John Slaytor
Photographer and funeral book designer
I had an interesting experience in early December of conducting a service for a person who was dying, but wanted to be at their own funeral. I researched this topic and found it intriguing. I have done quite a few services where I have spoken with a dying person about their service, and then performed the service upon their death, but I have never had the actual dying person in the room when the service was being held. Read Full Story »
Elisabeth O'Brien, Director Australian Celebrations Training
Hello Paul
Love the word Liferal and would love to share the following story with you.
Many years ago and going through what seemed overwhelming grief from the death of my adored husband, in a job I hated, angry children. Lack of self esteem and purpose, I had truly forgotten the essence of my being. Read Full Story »
Yvonne (Eve) Thomas, Civil Marriage Celebrant, Gold Coast, www.marriagecelebrantgoldcoast.com.au
I am a Palliative Care Nurse in Ballarat. Part of my position is to teach and educate nurses on death and dying and the journey that it takes people on. What an incredible honour it is to be there when someone leaves this world. In my job I have seen...Read Full Story »
Jade Odgers, Coordinator, Grampians Regional Palliative Care Team
I celebrated my 42nd birthday and decided to make it a day I would remember.
My 12-year relationship that had ended 18 months earlier did not allow me to enjoy such delights.
I invited my six dearest, oldest, most-treasured friends to my home for lunch.
The table was prepared with...Read Full Story »
Helen Robinett, Director, www.imagequest.com.au
A new word in my vocabulary which I hope to use often. The Web page was truly moving, honest and reflective.
A favourite liferal experience for me occurred several years ago when I attended a 90th birthday party for a very special lady and many of us spoke and shared... Read Full Story »
Val
I really like the word liferal, it embraces wonderful thoughts of caring and sharing, and taking the time to appreciate relationships. I will certainly add it to my vocabulary.
However, I find that at this moment when I am trying to get my living wakes celebrations into the public psyche...
Read Full Story »
Melissa Jacob, Founder, www.theceremonystore.com
For my birthday I decided to hold a ‘high tea’ at my house with some dear friends. Each was asked to bring a quote/saying that had inspired them during their lives.
The ten of us took turns sharing our quotes and why they were important to us, while munching ... Read Full Story »
Marie Farrugia, Director, www.timeforyou.com.au
A few years ago at my friend Justin’s 30th, I initiated a liferal and asked the gathering to speak about what they liked/loved about Justin and what they enjoyed about the friendship. Justin still talks about how special that moment was for him...Read Full Story »
Sarah Flenley, Operations & Audience Development Manager, www.jute.com.au
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